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The Timms Times

The Newsletter that answers the Question

What are those screwballs up to Now?

32nd year, Issue No. 4 MARCH, 1999
HEADLINES in this Issue

Sep 1998 View from here
The Judge
The Kids' Page
The Back Page


Canadian Olympic Association executives can afford to pay themselves consulting fees and buy $1500 meals but they can't afford to send more than two triathletes to Winnipeg for the Pan Am Games. We'd like to express our opinion on this but the vocabulary required is not suitable for a family publication such as The Times.


Severe thunderstorms in June 1998 resulted in the Timms home being struck by lightning for the second time in 10 years, thus debunking another long-cherished belief.


Television producer SDA Productions of Montreal (Popular Mechanics for Kids, many others) has purchased an option on Letters to the Judge. We are watching the business pages anxiously. (See March, 1998 issue for the reason why.)


You never know what you don't know until you learn it.


The View From Here

going to Spain
... is usually the back of some kid

we've just delivered to the airport for the next leg of his or her life's journey. This view is of Arran on his way to Barcelona for the Fall 1998 semester of his UofC Architecture programme. During the year we also saw the back of Stefan (many times!) as he left to race and/or train in Chicago, Los Angeles, Japan, Mexico, and finally Victoria, B.C. where he trained with the National Team until leaving for Australia.

Laura's back was in view briefly as she was whisked away by the very efficient drivers at Lake Bryn Mawr Camp in Pennsylvania, where she worked as a summer camp riding instructor, and again in September when we delivered her (and a houseful of furniture) to new digs in Guelph, which she shares with four other science students (two of them also named Laura!)

So few kids. So many backs.

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This computer is making me CRAZY!

Whose idea was Windows 98, anyway? I was perfectly happy with my old system, which at least got The Times out on time.

This one has a mind of its own ... doesn't like my perfectly good video card so refuses to show me what these photos really look like ...

... NOT TO MENTION the sneaky things it does when I'm not looking ... and without even asking my permission.

And would somebody please make Microsoft and Corel sit down and negotiate a truce to their war, or I'm going to have to send in the bombers. Enough with the GPFs already!


Please do observe the clever layout of this page.

Does it not make Roger look seriously distinguished?

Does it not make him look ... tall?

The Judge

Tricia and Tim (Jan/99)
James and Eshun (Sep/98)
Sophie and Kirk (Aug/98)
Ann and Sean (May/98)
have this in common with oldlyweds
Linda and Paul (Aug/97)
Joan and Stephen (Jan/96)
they were all tied up in knots .. er, had their marriage knots tied by our resident Hizzoner.
Each of these couples is very special to us -- either longtime friends or the children of longtime friends -- and we want their marriages to live happily ever after.
Which accounts for the shoes.
It is an incontrovertible fact that 100% of the marriages performed by a judge wearing handpainted fish shoes are still intact.
Long may it be so.

The Judge's Shoes

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The Kids' Page

building Inukshuk

Pondering the structural implications

of their world, the architect sits back and advises, while the scientist hauls rocks and stacks them, one upon the other, in an attempt to leave a sign that 'She was here'.
The architect goes away to build room-size models of a redeveloped Barcelona waterfront.
The scientist blithely comments at dinner, "I dissected one of these last week."
triathlete Stefan

Defying the fates

A broken foot.
A torn calf muscle.
A compressed disc in his spine.
No money.
No job.
No time for friends, for girls, for anything but training.
Deserting sponsors.
Roadblocks put up by the ITU, the COA, the IOC.
His mother's dreams for him.
None of these stop the triathlete from pursuing his goal. Come hell or high water -- and he's seen both! -- he's going to the Olympics.

The child-substitute speaks

Arf, Laura .. (wag, wag) I missed you so much .. (wag, wag) You shouldn't go away and leave me here alone with the parentals (wag) Only two of them to pet me and brush me and take me for walks (wag) And they won't let me sleep on the bed so I have to lie on the couch and watch TV (wag) but he never clicks on our favourite animal shows.

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The Back Page

ostrich Roger
"His own image was no longer the reflection of a clumsy, dirty, gray bird, ugly and offensive. He himself was a swan! Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg." ... Hans Christian Andersen

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Feeling nostalgic? Indulge yourself by re-reading another issue from our archives. Or, go back to the future.

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