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The Timms Times

The Newsletter that answers the Question

What are those screwballs up to Now?

36th year THE 2003 ISSUE -- last updated December, 2003
HEADLINES in this Issue

Dec 2003. Condomania
Sep 2003. New Weapon
Jul 2003. Engaged
Jan 2003. More titanium


New sports we think the IOC should add to the Olympics:

  • long-distance wedding planning
    (Kate's a shoo-in for the gold)
  • the law firm interview marathon
    (Stefan's got this one)
  • most miles driven in least time
    (check Laura's odometer)
  • most time on a bicycle by a person with two artificial hips
    (well, who else?)


You want to see weather?


To be at home on this earth, you must think like a stone.

What do you suppose that means? I've been pondering it for a year and have no answer. Does that mean I am thinking like a stone?


Architect catches condomania

December 2003
The condominium virus raging in Toronto's city core has claimed another victim. Despite using all his design skills to destroy the developer's mediocre floor plan; and attempting to flush out the virus with a flood of schedules and amendments to the purchase contract, Arran finally succumbed.

The first thing he did after waking up in his very own space was paint the walls flourescent lime greeen.

The second thing he did was throw a party for his mother's 60th birthday.

Timms family produces new weapon against foreign invader

save your ash
September, 2003
No, we haven't become arms dealers.

In her quest for ever more ugly bugs to embrace, Laura has found the Emerald Ash Borer [Agrilus planipennis Faimaire] so compelling that she has returned to the University of Toronto to complete a Masters degree in Forest Entymology by studying the unlovely creature.

Another invader from China, like the beetle that is eating all the maple trees in Toronto, this one specializes in ash trees and could become a major threat to Canada's forests.
It's a relatively new immigrant, sneaking into Canada from Michigan. No one even knew it was here until the city of Windsor's ash trees started dying. Foresters were then dismayed to discover that no one had studied this creature so no one knew how to control it.

Well, give her a few years. She is so immersed in her studies, so committed to natural biological controls, and so opposed to chemical pesticides, that her proud parents are convinced she will come up with an answer.

Kate + Stefan

They're Engaged!

Halifax. 3:00 A.M. July 12, 2003
Kate's sleepy father answered the phone to hear Kate announcing that he will be hosting a wedding in late summer, 2004. He doesn't have to ask who the lucky guy is.

[For all the details of the wedding, go to Timms.ca/wedding.html]

Demonstrating a previously unsuspected streak of romanticism, Stefan had staged an elaborate proposal ...

stef watching water
First, a picnic on a secluded beach ...
Proposal 2
Then, an apartment strewn with rose petals and a candle-lit path
Proposal 7
At the end of the path, a long-stemmed rose, a diamond ring and a proposal of marriage
Proposal 11
Woo-hoo! We get to keep her!

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Another Titanium Hip

January 29, 2003
Apparently, setting off the airport alarms only fifty percent of the time wasn't good enough. So Roger trooped back to his favourite orthopedic surgeon and had the other hip replaced. As you can see, this involves being hooked up to more instruments and devices than he has attached to his TV/DVD/VCR sound system at home. It also means that passport and X-rays are now his standard travel documents.

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Feeling nostalgic? Indulge yourself by re-reading an issue or two from our archives.

| The 1997 Issue | The Classic 1998 Issue | The 1999 Issue | The 2001 Issue | The 2002 Issue |

©Kathleen Timms, 2003